What a time we’ve all been having… for while I’ve not been able to find the words to describe, communicate or convey how lockdown has been here. I haven’t been sure what to share, what not to share but then I found myself talking to a friend (at a distance) about how she should go for it with an idea for a business. Perhaps I should take my own advice.

I can tell you that there have been amazing social media worthy moments of joy where as a family we have clicked together, made flower potions in the garden and eaten homemade pizza. But there have also been many frustrating sleepless nights and hugely sad moments; while we attempt to explain what’s happening in the world to three very small people – asking if the virus is in our house, reassuring then when fearful of going into the car in case they see this horrible ‘bug’ causing so much disruption.  

Our beautiful walks and mindfully taking note of the change in season have been paused by panicked moments,  where all five of us have dived into hedges to stay two ‘lightsabres’ apart from strangers, getting stung by stinging nettles – which apparently are good for your hair and skin… who knew?

As the weeks have passed, I have been quickly distracted by our own projects – notably centred around children, in home schooling, making all manner of things, and nurturing my flower cutting patch. Lots of my time has been spent cooking and negotiating how many views of Disney’s Frozen 2 are feasible in a day. We had some breakthroughs with children eating mushrooms for the first time in years (!!) and some vegetable box anxiety not wanting to waste anything as we chomped through sweetheart cabbages at a rate of knots (the answer is to make it into a slaw).

But then, as things went on and it became clear that finding a ‘new normal’ was the main topic of conversation everywhere. My lovely clients began the process of rescheduling weddings. Making huge decisions about what could be – whether to hold on, postpone to later in the year or move to 2021. My heart has sat in my throat with empathy for my clients as each week more events, weddings, and photoshoots are moved, paused postponed.

After the empathy, and the admin of moving so many bookings came huge sadness, a gut feeling of loss – like so many small business owners, I had big plans this year. All of them seemingly on hold until further notice. So many of my fellow Wedding suppliers have become good friends and I really miss seeing them! Thank goodness for the kindness of Instagram to keep us plugged in, celebrating our best work together.

There have also been moments, when I’ve thought that this job of mine is a bit silly and unimportant. I’m aware that there are so many key workers doing amazing things; there are people working so very hard to keep us fed, making sacrifices all the time. I have been reminded at these times of wobble by my networks that we still need joy and celebration in our lives and that concentrating efforts on keeping our children bobbing along is the best thing. One foot in front of the other.

Somewhere down the railway line near Wickham a place where I often run off steam, I have reached the conclusion that it’s time to value the life that we have, rather than thinking about the life that was planned. I have been thinking a lot in the last week about lessons to take into life after lockdown, perhaps that we all need to re-valuate our days? A good day may not be always being very busy ticking tasks off a list. One of my steps forward; or sideways depending on your point of view is to continue be creative every day. Keep making things; noting the seasons change; surrounding myself in kind thoughts in the hope that it will manifest itself into a positive move for my flowery world. One of the things I can do is blog a bit more. Watch this space!

Sarah x